Zombies return to the warm embrace of the street. It’s enough to warm your heart, and curdle your blood at the same time. Now, I’m no segregationist, Jazz Fans. I believe that people should be free to go wherever they want, regardless of their race, creed, or lack of pulse. But, and I’m ashamed to say this, seeing the necrotic brain suckers come back into the neighborhood that I have made my own for the last seven days have made me toss aside my facile liberal affectations, and say “There goes the neighborhood.” To hear for yourself, check out the latest Zombie Radio Show!
What is it that makes a neighborhood trendy for zombies? Is it the lax law enforcement, the dark alleys, the smooth streets that make shambling more efficient, the brainy population? I don’t know, Jazz Fans, but whatever it is, I wish our neighborhood would just take it back. For days, zombies avoided the streets around the studio like the plague. Actually, they were the plague. And this coincided with me and J-Bo being thrown out onto the street.
Wait a second… that can’t be a coincidence… it must be… yes… the zombies disappeared from the neighborhood when J-Bo and I went homeless… this must mean… yes… I almost have it…
That’s it! I scared the zombies away! That must be it. I mean, what else could it be, Jazz Fans? The Zombie must sense an inner peace and soulfulness that is repugnant to their very cores, those that still have cores.
But my anti zombie mojo has worn off. To see the sad results, check out this week’s video adaptation of Zombie Radio Show!
So sad. Jelly and I created a family out there on the corner, and the zombies came and set us against each other, or him against me– it was like Thanksgiving all over again. But I’ll survive, fans. I’ll find J-Bo, and we’ll start our own family, that’ll be better than my family with Jelly. Until J-Bo betrays me again, and I’ll go back to Jelly… and you can follow your old pal Jimmy Rudolph as he trades families on Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube!