Zombie Roaches have infiltrated J-Bo’s lair, and J-Bo may have met her match! Heyyy, Jazz Fans, Jimmy Rudolph here, and you know I’ve always been one to keep beat with my blessings. I’m a glass totally full kinda guy, because if the glass is half empty, I get my pool boy to fill it. And if I needed an excuse to feel grateful, I have one this week. Just click on the link below to hear exactly what I mean.
Now, I admit, when the Zombie Apocalypse began, I thought I had it bad. But zombie roaches, though small, come in great numbers. Instead of avoiding one mouth, you’re trying to dodge a thousand little mandibles crunching away, all slavering for your brain. Then, of course, there’s that whole exoskeleton thing. Roaches are covered by a shield of bone, making them impervious to anything except a well-wielded shoe. This makes it very difficult to remove their heads. Human zombies, on the other hand, have this awesome and vulnerable part of the body, called a neck. You can slice it, twist it, step on it– you can even sever it with a well-wielded shoe. The neck is essentially zombie kryptonite– and zombie roaches have theirs covered by the friggin’ exoskeleton. You can see for yourself watching the YouTube video adaptation of today’s episode below!
On top of all that, keep in mind that zombie roaches are the gateway insect. Soon there will be zombie mosquitoes sucking our brains out through those little straw teeth of theirs, zombie termites abandoning the house infrastructure and nestling in our frontal lobes, and zombie deer ticks. This is really bad news, Jazz Fans! If I’m gonna get turned into a zombie, I’d prefer my recruiter had only two legs, at the most. Any more than that would really bug me!