Zombies on the Street! Which normally wouldn’t be a problem– but I’m on the street, too! What the hell?! Zombies everywhere, and it’s hot, and why does this friggin’ concrete have to be so hard?! To hear more trials from the Jimmy-Spora, check out this week’s tragic episode of Zombie Radio Show!
Seriously, Jazz Fans– How have the mighty fallen! It seems like only earlier today I was cavorting with city-paid hookers in my sound booth. Now I’m on the street competing with them. And fans, they are tough. How could the same girl who let me lick caviar out of her navel just hours ago be threatening me with her six inch stiletto pump poised inches from my right eye? Oh, Tiffany– I thought we had something… All right, I’ll find another corner to work. Skank.
This whole experience has really opened my eyes, Jazz Fans (and nearly lost me one of them). The zombies are pretty bad, with bloody drool dripping down their chins, a wild gleam in their cold white eyes, lurching towards me, hungry for my brains– but the pigeons! They’re so brazen! To see my life on the street with your own eyes, assuming Tiffany hasn’t visited you, check out the video adaptation of this week’s episode!
I don’t know, fans… I don’t know if I’m going to make it… No food… No water… I’ve been out of the studio for two hours… God, the sun!… I’m delirious… Seeing huge buildings, taller than the trees… the horns… sound like music… stomach growling like a zombie… staggering…
Oh, hey, glad I found you. Two dogs with everything… How much?!… Three bucks EACH? Fuck you! Gotta be a deli somewhere around here.
And if you’d like to follow me to the deli, or wherever I wind up in this cesspool of a city, Follow me on Twitter, Like me on Facebook, and Subscribe to my YouTube Channel! (Just don’t tell Tiffany.)