Zombie Hits– not what it used to mean, Jazz Fans! Used to be, a zombie hit was taking off a zombie head. Now, zombies are pop stars? Gurgling into the brain-0covered mic, with beats and riffs laid down in the back ground, until the inevitable gob erupts from his throat and covers the mic, and that’s the number one single on the charts? That’s the best selling song of all time, behind “Let it Be” and “White Christmas”? But what can you do? The kids seem to like it. And millions of screaming adolescent girls can’t be wrong.
Some of you have called in and complained about our new “Rock n’ Skull” format. Four of you, in fact, if we count the telemarketer. But I’m an entertainer, folks. Not a taste maker. I may prefer the long improvisational sessions of Miles Davis and Charlie Parker, but that doesn’t mean I get to cram them down the throats of my audience. Nope, I go where the zeitgeist flows. I can see the smeared brain on the wall, and it looks kinda like this…
Sometimes the lure of jazz takes me over, and I try to sneak in a little jazz– maybe throw on some Tom Waits and pretend that it’s Zombie Jazz, the latest thing. But J-Bo won’t have it. She’s like a kid again, playing all the Zombie Rock she can get her hands on. Last week, she played the same song by Casey and the Brain Child over and over again twenty times, and she kept bursting into tears at the same moment in the song. It was just another gurgle, like all the other gurgles throughout the song. I could understand if there were a key change or something, but no. And the most fantastic part– that hour gave us our best numbers to date!
I’m no fan of this music, folks, but I’m gonna ride the wave. When it passes, as all trends must, we’ll sweep out all the water with the squee-gee of …jazz! Because there’s nothing trendy about jazz.