When zombies swarmed the city of New York, it was the worst thing imaginable. But in Harlem, is was even worster. Already beset by lackluster job investment, crumbling infrastructure, poor political representation and the Clintons, zombies were the icing on a multi-layered cake– not chocolate frosting, either, but that sugary pale stiff icing that no one wants to eat.
Not only did Harlem get more than its fair share of zombies, Harlem zombies managed to mutate into one of the most lethal types of zombies, “The Screamers”– blind, but with a paralyzing scream that short circuited the motor functions of anyone who heard it, freezing them in place until the groping shamblers could find them.
When New Yorkers are faced with a challenge, they band together like no one else and fight that challenge. But screamer zombies? Come on! We’re not crazy! So we banded together and said “Harlem, you’re on your own!” We quarantined Harlem, surrounding it with electrified concertina wire, and promised the good residents that we would get our kill squads in there at the first opportunity. Three years later, we’re still promising. We will continue to keep Harlem in our thoughts and prayers, even as we keep it out of our line of vision.
Fortunately, we have Robin Sellars, community activist and angry black woman, who calls yours truly now and again and give us an update on what’s happening. Not only does she remind us that Harlem exists, she black-peppers Jimmy with some very important questions; Are zombies a civil rights issue, as well as a survival issue? Can African American advancement be accomplished in the midst of a city-wide emergency? And does Jimmy really call that dancing, because it looks like a chicken being slowly cooked with electric jolts on a rusty spit. This week, we present some of our favorite “shoutouts from the ‘hood”. Truth to power, Robin! And if you know Eddie Murphy, tell him I’d like to have him on the show.