The Zombie Census is an idea whose time has come! Now at last we can find out who’s been eating us, how many have been eating us, and how many have eaten them. This is exactly the information we need in order to race away in terror– right?
Heyyy, Jazz Fans. Jimmy Rudolph here, and me and J-Bo are having a little conversation here in the sound booth, as well as a little pitching practice (her) and dodging practice (me). Here we are, in the midst of another expensive and endless city effort to deal with the zombie problem, this time by counting them, and J-Bo raises another excellent point, as well as her fists; “Why do we waste tax dollars, instead of wasting zombies?”
Clearly, J-Bo has an incomplete understanding of what it is to fight a zombie. Sure she’s killed her share, my share, and the shares of the borough of Queens, but killing isn’t all their is to killing. There’s also reading about killing. And I’ve read The Art of War by Sun Tzu, and I think that makes me at least as much of an expert as bloody, sticky J-Bo, and Sun Tzu says “Know your enemy,” right after he says “Love thy neighbor.” And a Zombie Census is the only way to safely know your enemy in NYC. Just watch the episode below if you don’t believe me!
Sure, it’s a dangerous assignment. But so was sending men to the moon! And we met that assignment head on. Sure it took a lot of money, time, and lives, but thanks to the sacrifice of a generation, we now know how many moons are up there! (Spoiler alert; One!) And we can do the same for zombies.