The Brain Bin

Basket o' Brains

Intellectual Property

Heyy, Jazz Fans! Jimmy Rudolph here. I’m not gonna lie to you– Mama needs a new pair of shoes! In fact– screw that bitch. I have my own needs. So take a look at some of the merchandise below, and throw a little coin our way. We have CDs, shirts and books, all zombie-related and chock full of entertainment. Certified “brain free” by Rabbi Yosef Aleichem from the Yonkers Synagogue!

 

Jimmy Rudolph’s

Zombie Survival Guide

by J-Bo

Zombies got you down?

Well, at this point, we can’t help you. But if you are just shy of the zombies actually pinning you, then you need this survival guide!

J-Bo and I have been working tirelessly on this Zombie Apocalypse lifeline– J-Bo writing, and me keeping the single malt inspiration flowing. And we’ve come up with the definitive guide that New Yorkers can’t do without. It’ll save the yokels, too.

In this fact-packed document, you’ll discover the answers to the most frequently screamed questions:

  • What is the fastest way to kill a zombie?
  • What weapons are the most effective?
  • Do zombies have vulnerabilities?
  • What areas of the city should I avoid?
  • Where are they all coming from?
  • Why me, dear God, why me?

You’ll learn the surprising truths about common misconceptions. You’ll discover:

  • Why guns are a terrible weapon against zombies.
  • Why zombies aren’t as slow as they seem.
  • Why you’re better off on your own, rather than hanging out with that survivalist asshole who claims to have a nuke.
  • Why we’re not all gonna die.

All of this brain-saving information is presented with the same high brow humor and wit you’ve come to expect from Jimmy Rudolph, but which he hasn’t been able to deliver because of a wicked head cold. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll survive. Best of all, this valuable document is only $1.99!

So order “Jimmy Rudolph’s Zombie Survival Guide by J-Bo” and start living!

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