Street Zombies– yet another urban myth? I’m beginning to think that all this zombie nonsense is just another ploy to keep us frightened and voting Republican. Listen to this week’s episode of Zombie Radio Show and decide for yourself!
Y’see, Jazz Fans? Now, I’ve never been particularly cowardly. Though I frequently hide behind others when danger approaches, I usually note that someone is hiding behind me in turn. (Which is actually pretty convenient, because now I get cover from both sides.) So as far as bravery goes, I’m about par for the course. Still, when rumors of zombie sightings began popping up, I let my modest bravery take a back seat to my flamboyant need to survive. I procured the famous DeNiro Bunker here at WZMB, and never saw the light of day without an escort of at least seven armed men, or J-Bo.
But circumstances have conspired against me, with J-Bo’s help, and I am out on the street. With all the blabber about zombies infesting this corner, and zombies eating brains on that corner, I didn’t think I’d make it two minutes. But here it’s been a full week, and I have survived. Survived, hell! I’ve thrived. I’ve made friends and influenced people. I’ve eaten the finest food thrown away by others. And I’ve rediscovered the heartbeat of the city that makes jazz.
But what I haven’t done is spot a single zombie. To not see one for yourself, check out the video adaptation of this week’s
Zombie Radio Show!
See? Just like alligators in the sewers and giant gorilla’s on the tall buildings, the whole zombie thing turns out to be a hoax.
Don’t feel foolish, Jazz Fans. I was just as convinced as you are now. I could have sworn that I saw zombies, fought with them, watched them transform into slobbering ghouls right before my very eyes. But it must have been a dream, inspired by some particularly virulent form of acid from my past. But the nightmare is over, my friends. Come out from your hovels and hidey-holes, drop your machetes on the front stoop and breathe in the clean, fresh air. There are no zombies.
Huh? The thing killing Wheezy? That’s probably just some gorilla escaped from the zoo. Gorillas eat brains, right?… No, I’m pretty sure they do. Anyway, we can settle this on Twitter, Facebook or YouTube!