Once upon a midnight dreary,
As I pondered, weak and weary,
Over the many blunt and bloody ways to coat New York with gore;
As I nodded, fingers snapping,
(‘Cause a Miles LP was rapping)
Suddenly I heard a tapping,
Tapping from the basement door.
“‘Tis the zombie ghoul” I muttered,”Rapping on my basement door.
“Thought I’d strapped him down before…”
Ah, remembrance has no pity!
Ere was I Mayor of New York City,
My shiny shoes would dance upon the boards of Gracie Mansion’s floor.
Yet the people kept repeating
“Stop the zombies! Stop our bleeding!”
Dins distracted me from feeding
Cocaine to my favorite whore.
“Throw him out!” the people chanted, chasing me from glory’s door.
Threw me out, without my whore.
“Vengeance,” cried I! “‘pon this city,
“Show her paucity of pity!
“Show her wild and withering destruction she’d not seen before!”
Built a zombie, born to grapple,
To chew and spit out the Big Apple
When they see it, how the crap’ll flow from the Big Apple’s core.
Seven strong arms stitched and stapled, a Ghoul who’d live (undead) in lore
Stands now ‘hind my basement door.
Paralysis now fills my sinews
As the tapping, it continues
With a strength that showers me with splinters from the wooden door.
I stand frozen, watching, waiting;
The Zombie’s rage is not abating.
And I long to see the New York Halloween Parade once more.
To see New Yorkers dressed as zombies, killing zombies by the score.
Quoth my Zombie… “Nevermore.”
To hear last year’s Halloween Episode,Click Here!