Boston Red Sox Collapse– Explained!

Why were the Red Sox playing like Zombies? It’s a no-brainer! Hey, Fans. Jimmy Rudolph here. I couldn’t be prouder of our home team, the Yankees, led by the immortal Derek Jeter, and their usual perch at the top of the division. A playoff season without the Yankees is like a zombie feeding frenzy without a machete. But even I was (pleasantly) surprised by the sudden and total collapse of the way uptown rivals, the Boston Red Sox. Ahead by 1.5 games at the start of September, they somehow managed to lose not only the division, but the wild card slot as well, with an astonishing 7-20 win loss record. This is a major choke, even for Boston.

Now we know why the socks are red!

Curse of the Bambino!

For once, New York and Boston are united in asking the question “What the hell happened?” Well, wonder no more, sports fans! All that talk about injuries, the listless play, the shambling base-running and the useless batting– it all makes sense now, as this photo comes off the wire from Boston–

When they sing “Sweet Caroline”… they’re talking about Caroline’s brains.

Now, many fans will cry “foul” at Boston’s misfortune. But remember, the Yankees have zombies on their roster. Why do you think Derek Jeter is immortal?

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