Heyyyyy, Jazz Fans! It’s been a long time comin’, but Jimmy’s back!
Jimmy Rudolph… The Jazz DJ? C’mon, I’ve been playing jazz at WZMB for years!… Jazz! You don’t remember jazz? The American art form? The blend of African rhythms and chords with European harmony and structure, the rockin’ cradle of rock n’ roll? Miles Davis? Charlie Mingus? Chuck Mangione?…
I’m in hell…
Okay, listen, New York got taken over by zombies, and instead of letting people go all crazy, I play them jazz and remind them that they’re human. Okay? Is that “TV Guide” enough for you?
What’s “TV Guide”? Okay, now you’re just pissing me off! Put down the goddam PSP and listen–
There! Now do you see? We got zombies attacking people. Most of them are slow, shambling monsters, but some are screamers, some are leapers, some are zip zombies, and there are new mutations every day. They have a ravenous hunger for brains, or if brains are unavailable, just the flesh. A single nibble from these creatures will send a toxic infection through your veins that will kill you and turn you into a brain-munching mockery of your former self in three days.
And that’s not even the worst part! The worst part is, New Yorkers are changing even without being bitten! They’re slowly transforming into… survivalists! They’re buying whole arsenals of guns, bombs and blades, turning neighbor against neighbor, cutting off a man’s head if he even looks at your brain sideways. (No offense, J-Bo.)
City services are going down the tubes. The police are overstretched, hospitals overrun, and try getting a pizza delivered in the middle of a zombie swarm! The tip they ask for is outrageous. Buses are dicey, cabs are scarce, traffic is worse than ever.
You may wonder why we stay if things are so bad. Well… it still beats New Jersey.
We stay because we love the New York. We love the energy, the excitement, the danger, the hustle. Even with zombie drool coating it, the Big Apple shines brighter than ever in our hearts. And our hearts are something that zombies can’t touch.
Well, they could, tchnically, but they’re more about the brain.
So tune in to our new home at Radio Titans, or listen right here. We’ll have a new show every week. Filled with brains, humor, heart, but mostly… jazz!
Yes, Jazz! Deal with it!